


Don't Forget To Like And Subscribe

by Jellycho (Nyxokal)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Let's Play, Emil gets rekt, F/M, Gen, Grand Theft Auto Online, M/M, Mostly Humorous, Pranks, YouTube, awful food choices in part seven, drunk cooking in part two, memeing, piano playing in part six, unironic uses for an air horn, vlogging - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxokal/pseuds/Jellycho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nations as different types of Youtubers. That's it, that's the thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's Play

**Author's Note:**

> I've got six parts thought out right now, but I might add more as it goes. I'll add the videos/youtubers each part is inspired by at the end.
> 
> This is a series of short drabbles to help me get back into writing! Suggestions for other characters and types of videos/channels are welcome. Please. I love this AU.

The first thing that's seen is a menu screen, covered almost completely in static. Overlayed on top, up on the top left corner of the screen, is an even smaller screen, showing two people crammed to fit together into the recording.

The room they're in is dark, save for the monitor's light reflected on their faces. About one second into the video, the tall, blond man in glasses claps his hands. "Hey, everybody!" he shouts. "Welcome back to more Spooktober! And this time, we're playing Five Nights at Fredy's!"

"I don't wanna be here," says the man next to Alfred.

"It's Kiku and me tonight," Alfred ignores Kiku's words, hugs him with one arm and points towards what's most likely their camera, "ready to play what's apparently the spookiest, scariest game of the whole internet in a good while--"

Up in their corner of the video, Kiku flicks Alfred's nose. "I wanted to do research but Alfred wouldn't let me," he says. The static in the game's menu continues to flicker while he continues. "And as punishment, he's making _me_  play."

"A lot of people have requested we play this game. Are you ready, _Keeks_?"

Kiku gets in position to play, his hands on the keyboard and mouse. "Let's just get this over with. And don't call me that on camera."  
\---

Eight minutes into the video has Alfred hiding behind Kiku, peering over his shoulder, while the smaller Japanese man looks like he's about to have a heart attack.

In the game, both of the doors are closed. Kiku clicks something; a button to turn on the light next to the left hallway, illuminating it beyond the door to see what's out there. Unfortunately for the two of them, a shadow appears.

"It's still there," Kiku says.

"Why won't it fucking leave?!" Alfred screeches behind Kiku.

Kiku doesn't give a straight answer, mumbling something in Japanese instead. He soon lets go of the button and looks the other way, clicking to turn on the lights on the opposite hallway.

Both jump.

"Oh my god!"

"Oh fuck!"

The click to close the door is faster than the speed of light itself. Beyond the window, the chicken animatronic is staring right into their souls, happy to know that it's come between the two men and their victory.

On camera, Alfred starts gently shaking Kiku by the shoulders. "You only have three percent fucking power!" he whines.

"It's five AM," Kiku tries his best to play even while being shaken, bringing up the cameras to do a quick sweep before putting it down immediately. "Maybe I can still make it-- I need to open the door to keep the power--"

"How are you down to zero percent already!? You gotta--"

The power goes out. Alfred screams, cries out a string of 'no's, hiding his face against Kiku's back while the other screeches out the loudest "oh no!" of his entire life.

"Oh my god we're dead," Alfred's muffled voice comes in.

Kiku, knowing it's worthless to keep both hands on the keyboard, reaches back to pat Alfred's head. "Is it six AM yet?"

"I don't know!"

"I can't do anything!" Kiku whines, moving the mouse left and right in a pitiful attempt to avoid the inevitable. "I just feel like, like-- like I'm just waiting for the scare to attack me--"

Music begins to play. Kiku shuts up immediately, and Alfred looks up from behind his shoulder. Slowly, Kiku moves the camera to the left.

"Ohhh god!" Alfred screams right into Kiku's ear, ducking behind him even more and pulling the smaller man with him. "Oh my god, Kiku, kill it!"

There's a face in the hallway, flickering on and off almost in tune with the music. Kiku grits his teeth, moving the mouse left and right frantically in an attempt to shake Alfred off. "It's not doing anything! We might have--"

The music stops.

Both men freeze. Within seconds, Alfred peeks over Kiku's shoulder, curious. Kiku slowly reaches to him with his free hand.

Of course they get jump scared right away.

There's a lot of screaming, but what really sells the deal is the way Alfred _shrieks_ , letting his entire weight fall off his chair. The problem here is that he ends up pulling Kiku along with him, both of them disappearing from the camera's view with a loud _thud_  in the distance.

It's no wonder their video has over five thousand views.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Markiplier, Game Grumps, and Two Best Friends Play. And a bit by Rage Quit.


	2. Drunk

The video begins with a blond man standing in front of a stove. He's dressed with a sweater vest, the sleeves of the shirt he's wearing under it rolled back to his elbows in a messy attempt to keep them clean; some stains can already be seen on the otherwise pearly white fabric.

"Hey guys--" he begins, smiling, but stops immediately. He stares directly into the void for another second, looking as though he's remembered something terrible. "Francis, don't--!"

And then the scene cuts, showing him again in starting position except his arms are crossed and he's frowning. "So we lost a bottle of salsa because Francis is a fucking idiot," he says, "but that's nothing new by this point."

A man with long, blond hair appears suddenly, with half of his face occupying half of the camera. "Oh my god, Arthur, we're not even using salsa--"

"Get your face away from the camera!"

Ignoring him, Francis pretends to eat the camera, and everything goes black. The title card for the video appears on screen: 'Drunk Cooking: Sriracha Chicken.'

Another cut is made. This time Francis, the man with the long hair, is drinking from a glass of white wine while standing in fron of the stove. Arthur stands next to him, addressing the audience while holding his own cup.

"Hey guys," Arthur says, pointing between himself and his husband. "It's Arthur Kirkland and Fuckboy Bonnefoy!"

Francis chokes.

As expected, the video keeps jumping from cut to cut as the two hosts make it obviously apparent that they've been drinking a maybe little too much. Francis vaguely attempts to explain what they're cooking, with Arthur clumsily presenting the ingredients as they go.

Four minutes into the video and they're both finally adding the sriracha to the chicken, with all of it held in a ziploc bag because, in their words, they're too drunk and lazy to try harder. Francis holds the bag, with Arthur holding a once again full cup of white wine in his hand.

"Last but not least," Arthur's words are slurring, "if you're like us and you're fucking wasted and don't wanna complicate shit, just add a bottle of your sriracha mustard to the damn thing."

Behind him, Francis smiles comically and holds up the bottle of mustard and the ziploc bag. He presses the bottle, but unfortunately his aim is off and its contents end up on the floor rather than on the chicken.

There's a beat before both men look down at the floor, then back at each other. Upon making eye contact with the other man Francis begins to laugh, and that only seems to aggravate Arthur further.

"Really," Arthur says while Francis exits the scene, cackling. "I just cleaned the fucking floor, Francis!"

Their channel is full of videos like this, and there's still three minutes left until the end of this particular video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Hannah Hart's "Drunk Kitchen," Particularly her Sriracha Chicken one and the Gays of Thrones one.


	3. Vlog

"Good ol' Gilbert here says 'let's go get some Chick-fil-A!' So I've never tried Chick-fil-A and I'm really excited, and then... Gilbert, what did you just say to me?"

The one talking and holding the camera is a blond boy with glasses named Matthew. He's smiling, but his voice barely hides his amazed disappointment.

Matthew slowly turns so the camera can pan both him and another boy, Gilbert, in the same take. They're both standing in an almost empty parking lot in front of what is most likely Chick-fil-A, Gilbert chuckling awkwardly under Matthew's and the camera's stare.

Gilbert bites his lip. "Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays...?" he mumbles.

Matthew nods, smiling, and turns the camera around again so it pans him and the closed restaurant behind him. "Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays," Matthew echoes. He nods again, pointing back to the restaurant behind him with his extended arm. "Chick-fil-A... is closed on a Sunday-- and the uber driver just left! What do we do now, Gilbert?"

"We walk home," comes Gilbert's voice.

Once again the camera pans them both. Gilbert begins to laugh, and Matthew finds it hard to hide his own amusement despite his initial disbelief and mild anger. The boy in glasses begins to walk away, shaking his head at the camera, and then finally starts to laugh along when Gilbert sings the 'trololo' song behind him, arms crossed.

"My god," Matthew chuckles. "I can't believe this is the object of my affections."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Practically a word-by-word "novelization" of one of Terroriser's vlogs.


	4. Multiplayer

The video stars footage of a videogame, with five people playing together through the internet.

Four of them stand on top of a building, with the main focus is on a boy named Lukas. His character holds an RPG, pointing it at another player, Mathias, who's parachuting in the skies.

"Alrighty..." Mathias says, trying to steer the parachute so he can land on the building to join his friends.

And then Lukas shoots.

 _"Lukas!"_ Mathias immediately shrieks, desperately trying to get the parachute out of the missile's trajectory. Everybody's laughing even though he survives. "Lukas! Ahh-- Ball-- _Fuck!_ Stop shooting at me, Lukas!"

Lukas equips a sniper rifle to focus on Mathias' character. The poor boy is now drifting further and further away from the group, dodging bullets from an unknown source.

Everybody's laughing.

"Lukas!"

"It's not me!" Lukas is chuckling, but he's definitely not shooting. "I'm watching, but I'm not shooting you anymore."

Mathias' screams continue. Another RPG missile is shot at him, and the poor boy barely avoids it. "Ah-- Berwald!" he screeches, and someone wheezes while laughing at the mere mention of the name. "Oh my god, it's Berwald, isn't it!"

"He's so far away," someone else says; it's probably Emil, judging by how young the voice sounds.

Lukas' character puts down the sniper rifle, and there he is; Berwald's character, standing up in front of them all, holding an RPG and shooting at Mathias.

"I'm too fucking low! Berwald, stop!"

Tino's voice is muffled because of the bad quality of his microphone, but his laughter is contagious. "Look how far he is!"

_"Berwald!"_

By the time Mathias' character has already left the screen with how far below he is now, Lukas has had enough. "I'll save you, Mat," he manages to say between chuckles. "I'll save you."

It happens so fast. Lukas jumps off the building, opens his parachute, quickly crashes against a lower floor he hadn't taken into account, and dies.  
  
"Fuck," Lukas says.

Tino wheezes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired and typed out from one Vanossgaming's videos. This one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiDt7hkAmGk&feature=youtu.be&t=3m34s


	5. Pranks

The video opens with a black haired boy sitting in a car at night. He's grinning, holding a bag of something as he stares at the camera set up on the car's dashboard.

"Hey. Li here," his voice is flat, but his grin is large. "I just picked up some food for us tonight," he says, holding up the bag as he fishes something out of it, "but what Emil doesn't know is that I also bought this hot sauce."

The bottle he takes out of the bag is ridiculously branded with bright colours, supposedly to indicate that this product is not to be fucked with for silly pranks such as these.

Li's grin changes from excited to evil in one milisecond. In one swift motion he makes direct eye contact with the camera, the bottle of hot sauce in his right hand and a box of pastries on his left.

He laughs. "Payback's a bitch, Emil."

\---

The camera is now hidden on a cat tree in a modest apartment, filming two people sitting on a dining table while eating their food. There's a cut again after five seconds of conversation, the video coming back right at the exact moment that Li brings out the pastry box.

Unsuspecting, Emil grabs one of the deliciously adorable treats and takes a bite.

It takes the white haired one at least one fraction of a second to realize that something is wrong. "Oh my god," he says with his mouth full. "What the hell?"

Li's poker face doesn't falter. "You alright?"

Emil covers his mouth, his face going redder than the hot sauce he's unknowingly been subjected to. Li observes him rock back and forth on his chair until the poor boy can't stand it anymore; Emil raises suddenly from his chair and spits his food into a napkin.

"Holy fucking shit," Emil's voice sounds strange. "Oh my god--"

Li continues to watch him from his seat, but now he stealthily takes out his phone. He's obviously planning on documenting this. "You okay?"

Emil starts to cry. "What the fuck are those, Li?!"

"They're dessert, Emil."

The Asian boy stares, watching Emil down almost the entire glass of water he'd been drinking in one go. The pressure's too much and Li finally cracks, giggling as he takes picture after picture of the other's struggle.

Just as Li starts to laugh, Emil begins to scream, tears streaming down his face. The white haired lunges for the fridge, screams turning to screeches, shedding the sweater he'd been wearing, getting redder by the second. It's the beginning of at least a ten minute struggle, thankfully condensed into the last four minutes of a five minute video.

Li turns to the hidden camera, laughing. "You shouldn't have given me sand sandwiches, honey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Prank vs Prank, obviously.


	6. Music

After a short intro, a man and a woman appear on camera sitting in front of a small table, with their backs to a beautiful ebony piano.

The woman smiles brightly, waving to the camera. "Hey guys! Elizabeta and Roderich here from Forte Piano," she begins. The man besides her, Roderich, tries his best to greet the audience with a small 'hey'.

"For those of you new to our channel, Roderich is a composer and pianist, and I make videos!" Elizabeta clings to Roderich's arm, obviously excited to show the world his talents through the wonderful tool that is YouTube. "And today we're gonna be doing something a little bit different from usual."

Adjusting his glasses, Roderich clears his throat before speaking. "A few days ago we asked you to suggest songs from various videogames for me to play. I listen to them once, then I play an arrangement on the spot."

"And we've finally got a list ready!" Elizabeta saves the day. Roderich seems happy to be off speaking duties for the moment, focusing on the laptop in front of them instead when Elizabeta points towards it.

She turns to the man in glasses, beaming. Roderich's smile is awkwardly unprepared. "Are you ready to give it a listen, Magic Fingers?"

Roderich's laugh is soft, and he hides his mouth behind his hand while he nods. He ends up shrugging. "Alright, yes. Let's do this."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by PlayerPiano, because those two are super cute. Apologies for the short and kind of weird entry; I believe that music video channels are a really hard part of youtube to portray in writing.


	7. Food

The video doesn't even have an intro.

Lovino slams his hands on the counter. "Today we're making a fucking hundred pound pizza," he delivers. That should prepare his audience very well for the madness that's about to come.

\---

Twin brothers Lovino and Feliciano narrate over the entire process of getting the ingredients for this monster of a food product. The imagery shown would be mouth-watering were it not for the sheer amount of... _food_  they're given; entire stacks of pepperoni, bacon, dough.

It's horrifying.

"We're talking about pepperoni and sausage," the montage cuts to Feliciano, wearing sunglasses and gesturing wildly at the camera while standing in the kitchen, "because we're making a meat lover's pizza!"

Lovino appears from his right, also wearing sunglasses, and shoves his brother out of the spotlight. "Not that shit you get in chain restaurants!" he shouts. "Real fucking pizza! Pizza for those who want to spend the rest of their goddamn lives loving and adoring the fucking meat in their pizza! _Meat **lover's** pizza!_ "

They continue their terrible narration, their montage, with the food being cooked in batches of at least twenty-whatevers at a time. Lovino narrates most of the video, because Feliciano either begins to laugh halfway through or simply does not have the vocal power to truly deliver his lines.

And then, three minutes later, it's finally done.

There's so much cheese.

There's so much meat.

So much palpable regret in Feliciano's face when sits before it, Lovino standing behind him with crossed arms, nodding. The behemoth pizza sits on the table, almost oozing out of the screen. Its entire existence seems like a sin. 

"Ladies and gentlemen," Feliciano's voice only quivers once. "Welcome to Hell."

In the back, Lovino uncrosses his arms and presses on an air horn. Just for effect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just. Epic Meal Time. Please god I suffered making this one.


End file.
